There, I said it. Whew! I feel better.
I just returned from my second morning of dropping off my daughter at our church's HUGE Vacation Bible School. (And I mean huge, as in literally thousands of kids will be coming.) And then I did something strange for me. I drove off. I came home. Here I sit.
Somehow I guess it would sound better to say that I dropped her off because she's working at it, not participating in it, but I guess that really doesn't matter. I rationalized all the way home yesterday. I drove her up there, pulled into the parking lot, saw the hubbub of activity of those faithful volunteers herding kids inside and setting up games outside, mentally imagined the activity converging on the inside of the building, kissed my daughter good-bye and told her I'd see her in awhile, then drove away feeling burdened. I felt partially burdened that I wasn't working, while simultaneously feeling burdened by the part of me that doesn't feel burdened in the slightest. :::sigh:::
I used to always do VBS because, well, that's what you do if you're a mom at home with kids in the summer and even slightly involved in your church. So for years I took various roles in our (did I mention that it is mammoth-sized?) VBS. Helping with the music on stage. Running the souvenir shop. Running an art room. Bringing a Suburban-load of kids from the apartments we lived in while we were building this house. Year after year. Then we began coordinating our Awana program and I was... tired. By June, I just couldn't do it. Uncle. In past years I've had the convenient excuse of "Well, I would, but we'll be in Africa." Last year I had just put my 12 year old on a plane for China, my 10 year old didn't want to do VBS anyway, and I didn't have the mental energy to do it. (Besides, what if I missed a phone call from China??? Oh, last summer was tough.) This year, I didn't commit because I knew that I would've only been back in our time zone for less than a week, and I never know in what condition I'll be returning home from a trip (at the very least, jetlagged, but sometimes quite ill.) I came home fine, but I still didn't volunteer. And that's okay. Isn't it?
I realized today as I drove away and saw the faithful volunteers all dressed in their western "Avalanche Ranch" garb that if I did this, I couldn't do the Awana stuff I need to do this summer. I just couldn't. I would be so burned out. Those who are doing what they do don't do what I do. And I don't do what they do. And that's the Body of Christ.
But, oh, I'm praying for those precious souls who will be reached with the gospel in VBS's all across this nation in the weeks to come. And I'm praying refreshment for the many, many volunteers it takes to pull off a successful VBS, of any size. God bless y'all.
And now I'm off to spend some much-needed alone-time with my son. Yee haw!