Sunday Funny

A young boy walked into his father's study. His father, a pastor, was working on the sermon he was to deliver in church that week.

After watching his father write for a few moments, the boy asked, "How do you know what to say?"

"God tells me," replied his father.

The boy watched quietly for a few more minutes and then asked, "Then... why do you keep crossing things out?"

Sunday Funny

Sunday Funny

These are some bloopers that have actually appeared in church bulletins:

• The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.
  
  
• The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
  
  
• This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
  
  
• For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
  
  
• Weight Watchers will meet a 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
  
  
• A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
  
  
• Don't let worry kill you--let the church help.
  
  

Aren't these great? There are more! You can find them here.

Sunday Funny

A certain preacher had all of his remaining teeth pulled and had new dentures made. The next Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes.The following Sunday he preached only 20 minutes. But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour and 25 minutes!

When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way: "The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk. The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot. The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures... and I couldn't stop talking!"

Sunday Funny

A small country church voted to refurbish their sanctuary. In the interest of frugality and good stewardship, the deacons volunteered to paint the walls themselves. They carefully calculated their budget and purchased the necessary supplies. Early on a Saturday morning, they began to paint. As the work progressed, they began to realize that they had not bought enough paint for the entire job, so they began to thin the remaining supply. As they continued, the paint grew thinner and thinner. They finished that evening, straightened up the sanctuary, turned out the lights and left to let the paint dry overnight.

When the congregation arrived the next morning, they were quite disappointed with the results. The sun streamed through the windows of the sanctuary, revealing the streaky, thinned-out paint job which showed the old paint underneath. The preacher took his place behind the pulpit and silently studied the walls for a few moments, the congregation anxious to hear what he would say. He then turned to the deacons, pointed his finger, and declared in his best preacher-voice, "Repaint! Repaint! Thin no more!"

Sunday Funny

A boy and his mother took their places in the pew and were waiting for the worship service to begin. The boy was excited; this was his first day in Big Church! While anxiously looking around the sanctuary, he noticed a large military plaque on the wall. The plaque had many names listed on it.

"What is that, Mommy?" the boy asked.

"Oh, that," said his mother. "Those are the names of all the people from our church who have died in the service."

The boy sat quietly for a moment, thinking. Finally he asked her nervously, "The 9:30 service or the 11:00 service?"