Self- ish

Recently I was having a conversation with someone regarding another person that we both care deeply about. The person I was talking with said, "She just needs to get to know herself better." At the time, I agreed. I've been thinking about that for the past several weeks, though. The idea that we need to "get to know ourselves" is very popular. So, I'm probably going to sound like a big 'ole meanie when I say that, in my opinion, "getting to know oneself better" is not necessarily the best use of one's time. A few weeks ago, I googled the word "self" and jotted down the following "buzz" words:

self-actualization, self esteem, self-improvement, self-starting, self-help, self-realization, self-reliance, self-employed, self-efficacy, self-determination, self-knowledge, self-serving, self-defense, self-assessment

I've heard these words and have used many of them myself. The words and their meanings have worked their way not only into psychology and education classes, but into our vocabularies and thinking. There's even a "Self" magazine!

Anyway, what if people got to know themselves really, really well? What possible good would that do anyone (including that person, him/herself)? If I were sitting here at this moment, knowing every single thing there is to know about Cyndi, would that help you at all? In the time it would take to do all of that "research," other important things would go undone, like caring for my family, carrying out my ministries, schooling my kids, praying for others, laundry, etc. Can you imagine someone saying, "Wow, that Mother Teresa... she really knew herself." Or, "You know, Hitler should've really gotten to know himself better." How about, "Hmm. With all of this unrest in the Middle East as well as the war on terror, the President should spend some time at the ranch getting to know himself." Doesn't that sound ridiculous?

Stormie Omartian, in her book, Greater Health God's Way , says "It is very unhealthy to be thinking of ourselves all the time. Focusing inward too much leads to mental problems. Mental hospitals are full of people who do just that. Constantly looking at yourself and asking, 'How am I doing? How am I measuring up?' does not bring health. The 'me generation' came out with wonderful bodies and very disturbed minds and emotions."

Since worship is focus, it stands to reason that focusing on self would lead to worship of self. Yeah, that's someone you want to be around! On the other hand, no one wants to be around someone who leads a completely unexamined life, either. I don't mean that we shouldn't know our basic tastes or preferences like mango tea vs. raspberry tea, or "I-don't-look-good-in-orange." I'm also not saying that we shouldn't take the time to study our learning/leadership style or spiritual gifts( although I'm aware that some might take those inventories too seriously and limit themselves unnecessarily). Everyone has a "besetting sin" as my pastor calls it- a particular sin or area of struggle. No doubt we can each name a few! We must know ourselves as far at that's concerned, so we give ourselves the best opportunity to avoid stumbling. So, "knowing ourselves" in those terms is, of course, advantageous. As with everything else, it's the level of emphasis.

I was talking to a minister's wife this week who said something to me that has added to my perspective on this subject. We were actually discussing their very young son who feels he's ready to be baptized, but she's wondering if he's really "ready." She said her husband has always said that salvation is "giving all you know of yourself to all you know of God." That's it! A reason to "know yourself!" Giving it to Him! Throughout our lives we naturally know more about ourselves. If what we learn is positive, yield it to Him for His use. (All our gifts are from Him anyway!) If it's negative, invite Him and allow His power to remove it and replace it with a strength that you can then offer back to Him. It's neat how that works!

I've seen the word "ish" in the blogosphere used as a shortened form of the word "issues." I think it's kind of cute! Ish. I have so many ish, and I'm sure you do, too. (Unless denial is your main ish.) I have ish that I've been working on for years. If "self" is your "ish", then what do you have? "Selfish."

How well I know myself need not be my ish. The ish is how well God knows me. Psalm 139 says, "O LORD, You have searched me and You know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; You perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; You are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD." Whew! I don't have to "get to know myself" by making self a subject of study. He'll do that part for me, too. "Search me, O God and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." (Ps. 139: 1-4, 23,24) We could say, "Search me, O God, and know my ish..."

For those who feel they need to "get to know themselves better," I would suggest getting to know God better instead. To get to know God better, look at His Son. Know the Son, then you will know the Father. "I and the Father are One." (John 10:30) He knows all your ish anyway, and looks on you with love. That's Someone worth taking the time to know!

"What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus, My Lord..." (Philippians 3:8)