Friday, February 02, 2007

A Good Tired

It's Friday, and I am tired. I'll bet you are too! Moms are busy.

But is it a good tired? For me, it is. Last week I felt so stretched and so pulled, my sweet husband and I were making some decisions and in so many areas I just felt... out of control. This week, I decided to go back to what I KNOW. I know that God loves me and wants His best for me. I know He is holding my family in the palm of His hand. I know that He has good works for me to do that He planned before I ever took my first breath. I know that those good works are to be a wife to my husband, and to mother my children at home. So this week, I got back to the heart of those good works, first and foremost loving and supporting my husband. I started last weekend taking a new look at just what it is that Luke needs from me. I didn't make a formal list, but sort of just clarified some things in my mind. Then I took a good hard look at what my children need from me. I ordered my week accordingly. I left out the things I was hoping to get done for myself or around the house, or what might look good to other people. I simply narrowed my focus to the three other precious souls who live in this house and endeavored to pour myself out for them in a new way.

I realize that many, many women live this way already. You probably do. I know them. I read your blogs. But for me, it doesn't come naturally (and "How To Pour Yourself Out For Your Family" is not the latest topic on Rachel Ray, Oprah or The View to be sure!) I have to work at putting others first and serving them above all, or I naturally default into what I want to commit to do, what I want to read or decorate or what might most fulfill me or make me look good, whether or not that would do a hill '0 beans worth of good for the other three in my family.

SO, this week I spent extra time looking into the eyes of my children as they spoke to me. I worked extra hard on their schoolwork with them. I made meals that they loved each night, and had them ready when Luke was coming in the door (oh, how he's worked so hard this week!) I made sure that my busy Bethany got to her job at the church and to her classes, I made sure that my book-loving Kyle got to dig through lots and lots of books at the library and that he and I are enjoying a new read-aloud together. I bought their favorite snacks at the grocery store. Everyday my focus was them, not in some back-of-hand-on-forehead martyr way, but because I love them more than anyone else on the face of this earth. Of course, this wasn't so new to me, like I usually don't take them where they need to go, feed them, or read to them. I just chose this week to really do these things with great love and "be all there" whatever we were doing. Sometimes I just run here and there with and for them like some sort of robot (mom-bot?) but this week I chose to see it differently. I didn't just wait around like a servant to see what they asked for, either, of course. Our days are purposeful, planned, and full. I just filled those days with what would most bless them.

And you know what? The rest of it happened. I got that haircut that I've so desperately needed. I finished two books I was reading. I blogged. The house is really coming together (we are painting). I got together with one friend and had great phone conversations with two others. I took care of ministry needs. Everything else that I was so frantically trying to accomplish... fell into place. And if it didn't, I have decided that it must not have needed to. It will happen another time. Yes, it's been a lot of work but since it was SO clearly what God had for me to do, and not what I simply added to my own plate the energy was there. His energy.

God is teaching me so much. It's been a good week.

If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.
I Peter 4:11


But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness,
and all these things will be given to you as well.
Matt. 6:33

13 comments:

Amberly said...

Thank you, Cyndi! I needed that this week! I am not one of those to whom all of that comes naturally and sometimes tend to get involved in too many "projects" even though they may be GOOD things to do. I have to stop from time to time and evaluate as you did. This week has been one of those crazy weeks here, so this post was perfect timing for me!

Lauren S. said...

Beautiful! Thank you for directing my attention back where it needs to be!

Chris said...

Cyndi,
This was so encouraging and such a wonderful reminder to women. It is amazing that when we take of what God has given us, He takes care of what we have need of.

Laurel Wreath said...

Oh I loved reading this. Thank you. This is what I have been struggling with. Overwhelmed by so many things to do. Thank you for putting my perspective where it should be.

Jenny in Ca said...

Cyndi, what a wonderful post, I have been struggling with much of this lately. I think I have just lost my groove..and kind of gave up caring.
But, it was bothering me.
A song I have been listening to lately, one line is
"She's more than just a momma, she's the answer to their prayers"
and I want to be all that for my family, but lately I have been so overwhelmed and just going through the motions. Something else that got me thinking, I was going thru old videos for my f-i-l's memorial, and there were many instances of him sitting there patiently and pleased while his youngest daughter stood at his knee and just talked to him, or sang a song for him. Even one of her sitting on his lap through dinner. He had such wonderful relationships with his kids, they all loved him so much. I felt a big reminder that I need to slow down, and just listen and delight in my children.

thanks for sharing, what a wonderful answer to your prayers and struggle.

ChupieandJ'smama said...

Good for you! I'm going to have to try that. I've been feeling so overwhelmed by trying to be all things to all people and I need to get my focus back. Thanks for the reminder.

Linda said...

I very much needed to read this post today Cyndi. I seem to have to fight selfishness all the time. Why is it we feel so entitled to having and doing what we want? It's a lesson I've had to learn over and over again. I'm glad you had a good week. Isn't it amazing that when we do things God's way they work out so well? And isn't it amazing that we should think it amazing?
Thank you for sharing your heart and your wisdom. Thank you too for you comment. It means much.
Have a blessed weekend.

janiswrites said...

"if it didn't, I have decided that it must not have needed to."

What a great place to get to. I need to get back to that place myself. I think I am going to take the weekend off from everything but my kiddos and just be...maybe that will help me get my focus back. Thanks for this post-excellent timing in my life. Blessings!

LeftCoastOnlooker said...

Amazing!
This is exactly what I was in need of today! Thank you for sharing what you're learning.
My priorities get so easily out of alignment. I'm going to go work on them & I'll pray for you!

Jennifer said...

Oh, Cyndi, I agree. It is so hard for me, too. But, like you, if I take a few days and really focus on them, instead of myself, the other things get squeezed in too, and without the fatigue and irritation when I'm trying to put myself first.

That 1 Peter scripture was perfect. I saw it in a new light after reading this.

Great post.

blessed4times said...

Cyndi, I am in the same exact boat and have been pursuing the same intentionality, too. It is a blessing and we do get everything done, when we first get with God and focus on our families second.

I've started a new mission, Friday Fortitude, to continue my focus. I wrote about it and posted the details just yesterday, hoping to have others join in, be blessed, and keep me accountable. I bet it would resonate with you, too. It is in my blog at www.laundry-alternative.net/sortsandsuds.htm

Blessings, and thanks for the encouragement!

Elisa

www.laundry-alternative.net

eph2810 said...

Thank you, Cyndi. I needed to read that today. I know it is already Saturday afternoon, but this will give me a great focus on next week...

Blessings on your weekend and always...

Kelly said...

I so loved this post. My favorite line--"I spent extra time looking into my children's eyes . ." Great reminder for me to slow down and savor the important moments! Blessing!